


Q&A

by givemelove7



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemelove7/pseuds/givemelove7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About Smurfs and dinosaurs and Monopoly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Q&A

''Can I at least do it on a first date with someone else,'' Toni groaned, fixing his hair for the fifth time in the past half an hour.

''Toni, I'm shocked,“ Gareth gasped, clutching at his heart dramatically. ''Considering all of your pining for him, I really thought Isco was special and here you are, already lining up your next date.'' Toni just shot him an ugly look through the mirror.

''I had to walk around with the ugliest blonde hair anyone has ever seen for 3 months, I'm sure Iker was seriouslx considering breaking up with me. We take our bets very seriously here, man,“ Sergio added. ''So you'll do as we agreed, 6 awkward first date questions, carefully picked by us and you aren't allowed to let him know it wasn't your idea.“

''Besides, if he can't discuss serious matters, such as which Smurf is the hottest Smurf, that relationship has no future anyway,'' Gareth grinned in conclusion, fixing the collar of Toni's shirt.

 

* * *

 

Toni arrived at the restaurant half an hour earlier than agreed, sweating lightly from the heat and the nerves for what he was about to do. Knowing Gareth and Sergio, the questions were going to be absolutely ridiculous and ruin whatever chance he might have with a guy like Isco ( and well, he surely had to have some chance considering Isco agreed to go for a dinner with him but still.) He couldn't decide whether it was a good or a bad thing he wasn't allowed to see the questions before Isco reads them out loud. On the one hand, maybe he could've come up with some witty explanation as to why he would want to know which Smurf is the sexiest Smurf ( he hoped with all of his heart that wasn't one of the questions, even prayed a little bit) but on the other hand, he was sure there was no way he could utter those words while keeping a straight face.

* * *

 

The date started well. Perfect, actually, it seemed to Toni. Isco was funny, quick-witted and so ridiculously beautiful Toni felt like he could look at him for the rest of his life but at the same time, felt the need to look away every once in a while to avoid drowning in his eyes (and missing his mouth with his fork which would be totally embarrassing.) Once they finished the main course and ordered desserts, Toni figured out that the moment to act on the stupid bet was as good as any. Feeling his stomach curl uncomfortably, he took a folded piece of paper from his jacket, looking at it like it was going to explode in his face any moment ( which it probably was, but metaforically).

''So, uhm,'' Toni started uncomfortably, shifting a bit on his chair and avoiding Isco's eyes, '' I know it isn't a regular first-date-tradition but I would like you to answer a few important questions  if that's okay.''

Isco grabbed the paper from his hand, unfolding it quickly as Toni held his breath.

''Let's see... ' 1)How seriously do you take a game of Monopoly?' '' Isco read out loud, grinning a bit. Toni exhaled loudly. The question could pass as kind of maybe normal first date question.

''Uhh very seriously. Once I almost got in a fight with Pique cause he owned Madrid and I owned Barcelona and he didn't want to trade even though I offered him all of my money. And I'm pretty sure I made my little cousin cry because of it, though she denies it,'' Isco chatted excitedly, apparently fond of the memories. Toni just smiled half-heartedly, dreading the next question.

'''2) How long are you willing to sit in agony rather than stand up and get an out-of-reach remote?'. Once I spent six horrible hours watching livestream of Big Brother. The amount of self loathing you feel after is indescribable, you should try it sometime.''

''I hope that remote was in the other city guarded by snakes and dragons, otherwise there's no explanation for that,'' Toni laughed, relieved that Isco didn't seem too phased or weirded out by the questions.

'''3) Which Backstreet boy did you have the scariest crush on?'''. Toni felt the need to facepalm but he resisted it somehow. ''I would have to say Brian. There was a phase I'm not proud of where I cut him out of my friends' posters and take it home with me. But it's okay, she had a crush on Nick anyway and I swear my scissors never touched a hair on his head. What about you, Toni?,'' Isco asked. ''No, wait! I bet I can guess! You absolutely scream A.J.,'' Isco claimed, moving his head around like he was checking Toni out from all the angles. ''I'm right, aren't I?''. Toni just nodded at the table, refusing to meet Isco's triumphant smirk.

''Okay, next one. '4)What size pool do you personally believe is too small to pee in?'''. Isco threw his head back and laughed out loud. Any other day, Toni loved the sound, loved how carefree and bubbly Isco's laughter was. But after hearing the question, all he wanted was to crawl underneath the table and disappear. And maybe punch his friends in the face. And punch himself in the face for ever accepting the bet.

''You know those little inflatable pools for babies? That's all I'm gonna say on the matter,'' Isco answered shortly, tears glistening in his eyes from the earlier outbreak.

''Are you telling me you peed in the pool in the training room?''

''Are you telling me you didn't?,'' Isco raised his eyebrow.

''Time for next question!,'' Toni changed the subject quickly. The sooner they finished the horror of the questions the better. Maybe Toni would still have some time to save his dignity afterwards.

'''5) How long do you think you'd last in Jurassic park before you did something stupid and got us both killed?'  Honestly? I want to fight a velociraptor so bad. You know how they're always portreted as smart and shit? No way they can be smarter than me. If they are, I deserve to be eaten alive by them. Chewed and spitted out and my tombstone should say 'Here lays a person. Or well, the remainings of the person. Which person, you might be wondering? He doesn't deserve people knowing his name since he was outsmarted by a few tons of meat with only a few gramms of brain.'''

''Oh my god, you're that person that gets eaten first because they underrestimate the force of nature. I never thought you are that kind of person. Would you like to fight lions as well? Elephants? Great white sharks?''

''We're in Jurassic park now, not Jaws. Focus, Toni,'' Isco teased.

''I can't believe you think you could beat a velociraptor,'' Toni muttered. Isco read the next question quickly, effectively silencing Toni. '''6) How many loaves of restaurant bread do you think you could fit down your pants and sneak out of here?'. Toni gasped in horror, his mind quickly filling with the most efficient ways to torture Gareth and Sergio.

''Hmmm, today? None, I think. I wore these super skinny jeans cause I caught you staring at my ass way too many times for it to be accidental so I thought you would enjoy them. But if you really want to know, we can come back next time when I'm in some sweatpants and we can check,'' Isco blurted out.  

''Next time? Are you telling me there will be next time?,'' Toni asked quietly, not daring to get his hopes up.

''Why wouldn't there be a next time?,'' Isco smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> The first date questions are taken from twitter account @firstdateqs


End file.
